It began in December this past year. Stating our plans as absolutes has never worked well for us. We were made aware of a situation where several children we knew well could potentially need a place to live. In my usual manner I offered housing with the thought in mind to make changes to our obviously incompatible housing. I shared this offer with my husband, after the fact, and my usually very hospitable husband said, "No, we live in a tiny house so we have to say no, remember?" I did remember, I do like living in our tiny house and I respect my husband.
I prayed for the children and committed our future to God.
We really do like living in our Tiny House. We like the freedom it provides financially as well as with our time. Chris likes to work on the tiny house and I like the comparable lack of cleaning. We like choosing just exactly how we want our house, without worrying overmuch about cost. We like keeping "things" to a minimum and I like the challenge of making sure everything fits well. We really liked traveling last October to Hawaii and we were making plans to travel more.
At the end of January, I took a test, a pregnancy test, and then I took four more. There are a lot of things I don't know. One of those things is why I hadn't carried a baby to term. I grieved infertility and I wonder at God's plan but I was to a point where I was 99% content with my situation. Our wonderful trip to Hawaii, and other events in my life, led me to see a lot of blessings in only having two adopted children. This pregnancy came as a complete surprise.
As I mentioned before, we really like tiny living. We brainstormed how tiny living would work with pregnancy, then an infant and 2 older children. It just wasn't going to work. We had to move. We knew how long it can take to find and buy and move so we immediately contacted a real estate agent and a loan officer. I was very nervous about the possibility of miscarrying due to two previous miscarriages. Chris told me even if things didn't work out we would follow through with looking for and buying a house. It was time.
God is always leading and directing. He is at work in us to will and to work for His good pleasure. We are told to, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight". We believe God led us to a point where we would purchase the house next door to my parents. It is an adorable 1000 sq ft farm house on 2.4 acres with two barns, an insulated and sheet rocked pump house, a garage, a fenced yard and fenced field for animals.
There is no promise of heaven on earth. Jesus told us in this world we will have trouble. In Romans 5 we are admonished to "glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Contrary to the world view to "follow your heart and do what makes YOU happy" we are told as followers of our Creator and King to "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1)
My baby only made it 6 weeks inside of me. I am working hard to accept the grief without being consumed by the depression I am prone to with loss. I see God at work in bringing about the purchase of the beautiful piece of property we just purchased. I am no longer questioning every day the reason for the particular path we are walking down. I will often have several days in a row now of resting in God's plan. I still cry at the drop of a hat but I'm also working on accepting the tears while continuing on with life.
The children we thought might possibly need a home are now living with various relatives. I don't know if God plans for us to still be in their lives or to what extent. The trusting God has to come into play here as well. This has been hard for me. I see the good in what is happening but I also feel the loss of their presence. I pray God will continue to will and to work in us for His good pleasure that we might "be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing". My spirit is willing but my flesh is so very weak.
While we love tiny living, we are all very excited to be moving to a small farm. When we first decided to move out of the Greater Seattle area we wished this particular piece of property was for sale. We would have bought it in a heartbeat then and we are a little bit in awe that we now own it! The way things are right now we don't really need a house but we are thankful for our new little farm.
We are richly blessed by God and know He will work "all things out together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose".
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| Looking out my new living room window |
